Written by : Audrey Isman
Many of us experience breakups at some point in our lives, and dealing with it is painful. Whether it’s your first love, second, or even marriage, they often stir up fears of being alone and not being able to love again. Despite the universality of breakups, there is no manual on how to get over them as no breakups are the exact same. We experience different things, and the healing process differs from each person. Hard to believe, but breakups can lead to breakthroughs.
Breakups can provide space for us to grow. Below are some tips that can help you cope with your breakup:
1. Take time to grieve
Allow yourself to process the emotions you’re feeling. We often assume that avoiding painful emotions will bring us relief when in reality it’s the opposite. When we allow ourselves to feel sad and angry, we will be able to notice positive emotions better.
2. Reach out for support from people that you trust
Reaching out to your loved ones will help you feel less isolated and lonely.
3. When you’re ready, reflect on reasons why the relationship ended
No, it’s not about self-blaming or blaming your ex, but relationships do end for a reason. Reflecting on what went wrong can help you learn from the breakup, and therefore grow better as a person.
4. Engage in activities you enjoy
Reflect on activities that brings you joy and happiness, or maybe you can use this time to explore new hobbies or interests!
5. Last but not least, practice self-compassion
It’s not uncommon to blame ourselves constantly for the mistakes we’ve made, but doing so can narrow our perspective. One way to practice self-compassion is to think about what you would tell a friend who is going through a similar situation.
There is no doubt that going through breakups are painful, and it’s certainly not easy. There is no formula or a fixed time to get over someone. However it can also contribute to personal growth and to notice strengths that you didn’t know you had. Time itself won’t heal, but what you are willing to do with your time matters.